HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW YOUR CHILD? March 12, 2008 crizlai In this era where both parents belong to the working group, bringing up a child could be rather stressful. The future characteristics of the child could turn for the worst if he is not always under the watchful eyes of the parents in guiding him to differentiate the right from the wrong. A child’s mind is like a dam. It slowly accumulates drops by drops of water into his mind. The mind has to be built strong to be able to withstand the pressure and forces of the water. Tons and tons of water flow into this dam and if no proper management is executed, it will just crumble and fall. Parents are like the person manning the dam. They will be there to ensure that several drainages are built to let the excess water flows out of it. Children are just not wise enough to see the danger level posed by the water. That is why parents are much needed to show and guide us towards the safety level in our life. How children develop and succeed in the society depends on how well they are taught to understand and control their basic instincts. As a parent, you should take note of all the requirements a child will need and showing him which is the best amongst the many options he has in his life. Here are some of the basic instincts that you should inject into their young minds. Survival Instinct: Food is something that everyone will need in order to survive but what goes inside will have the side effects on a child’s health. A child should be taught on how to consume nutritious food rather than fatty food which in turn will ruin his growing up. You sure do not want your child to have obesity, diabetes or heart problems when they grow up right? Social Instinct: Humans are born to be social animals and they hate being lonely. As age catches up, they tend to gather more friends and forming more groups. Lifestyles will change so are the languages used. Children tend to follow what majority do. This is the time parents should be there to guide them to differentiate the good from the evil. Shutting a child down from the outside world is discouraged here as it will make the child inactive mentally and physically. Learning the hard way and falling down are part of the growing up process and parents are there only to guide those fallen child to brave it out. Fear Instinct: Have you ever encountered people your age having the phobia or fear in carrying out certain duties? Most of the time, it is due to their bad childhood experiences. When they were young, they had bad encounters with fear such as stranded in dark places, mentally and physically abuse, loud chilling scream, thunder and lightning, seeing something frightening or getting attacked by something or someone. During these traumas, they needed someone to be by their side but they found none. As parents, try to be available whenever a child needed some comfort and security. This will surely help him to face the society in a more courageous way. Status Instinct: I have worked in this society for so long and met many different types of people in the process. Most of the time, I have seen people with strong superiority complexes, looking down upon those who he deemed unfit to be around him. Those victims were not even given the chances to prove their worthiness. It is fine to feel proud with one’s achievement but having too much pride will not ensure a smoother working relationship. Different people take different paces in progressing in their lives and they should be given the benefit of doubts in whatever tasks there are given. Although every parent would want their children to excel in whatever they were doing, they should instill in the mind of their children the sense of humbleness, compassion and willingness to help those who are weaker than they are. Whether you want your child to be a down to earth person or you wished to make him into a so called “commander” in the future depends on how you educate him today. Love Instinct: Life will not continue to exist if there was no love. With love, there tend to be lust and sexual urge. I have noticed that the kids of today are no longer in control of their sexual desires. This could be due to the information filled internet access and many adults movies that are easily accessible in the market. It used to be the headaches of parents trying to tell them about the bees and the flowers but now kids are learning about sex even at a tender age. With the changes in times, there is no stopping to this growing up process. Parents are to ensure that their children know about the value of a life which should not be created out of carelessness. There should always be proper planning and stable income in ensuring the future of a newly born. Sorry to say, I have overheard many barely legal age teens describing their sexual experiences and it is scary to know that they are still schooling. I just hope that some actions can be taken at the root to avoid this social sickness. Think about it! Do keep a watch out for the next series on knowing your child’s habits in the next post. I'm thirsty for a drink now. Would you be kind enough to treat me?