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Archive for the ‘marriage’ Category


Written by crizlai on Jan 19th, 2011 | Filed under: life, lifestyle, living, marriage, rant, vacation, wedding


Some time back last year, I received a registered mail addressed to my name. Upon opening up the mail, I saw a nicely designed wedding invitation card of Joe and Jenny. Finally, those two had decided to tie the knot after being engaged for two years. Time really flew very fast. At that moment, I thought it was another of those hotel receptions where buffet was served towards the end of the couple’s declaration. I was in for a surprise when I saw the venue on the card, “pack your best dress/suit and two days of luggage, you’d be driven to a private reception.” What? I have always known them as an outgoing and adventurous couple but this was something I had not expected from them. I loved surprises and this was one wedding that I would surely not miss out.

On that appointed date, I got my friend to drop me off at Joe’s house. Upon arriving, there was already a big crowd on the charted double decked bus. Sam was there, so were practically the whole university mates of ours. It was like another reunion for us. We departed from Columbia and headed for Duck Village along the southern shores of North Carolina. The sceneries throughout the journey were something I would not forget for ages. We were brought to an oceanfront palatial estate, Royal Caribbean II, a one of a kind luxurious, accommodation in an exclusive community setting. Everyone was dumbfounded by the beauty of the whole setting. There were 8 master suites with private baths, exquisite great room and regal grand dining with unprecedented ocean views on top of all the state-of-the art gadgets scattered all around the abode. There were also rooms for electronic games, billiard tables, ping pong tables and wide screen theatre setting, not forgetting a bunch of outdoor sports you can play with.

Wow! I was as if in my own dream home. I could not resist being pampered in the pool with built-in hot tub, stone fireplace while being blown away with the soothing pool side music. Being the non-traditionalists, I would not have expected that I would be so privileged to be invited to such an exclusive vacation with the wedding couple. It was one of the most comfortable and laid-back weddings I had ever attended. The wedding ceremony was simple but filled with lots of meanings for the couple as they had us, their families and friends, to be there, to appreciate the relationships we had throughout our knowing of each other, and to acknowledge their happiness as a truly wedded couple. There no denying that they had made a right choice by engaging an all inclusive wedding packages that not only would remain in their memories for a lifetime but ours as well.

I'm thirsty for a drink now. Would you be kind enough to treat me?


Written by crizlai on Oct 22nd, 2008 | Filed under: emotion, family, living, marriage









There are just hundreds of reasons why we were in the quarrelling mode at times and would not look deeply into the main core of the reasons and seek solutions. Let us discuss on two of the more prominent reasons that would destruct a married life.


“Money is the root of evil”. That’s what we have known ever since we were born into this world. But is it true when it involves in relationship? Let’s see some of the scenarios. Do you combine your total earnings into one general account for the household expenditure or do you have separate accounts? Some might even consider both. What would yours be?

It may work fine at the initial stage of a marriage to have joint account to push the “family as one” off the ground. After years of marriage, things might not be as pleasant anymore. There would be disputes about how much the other would spent on their personal usage and how much the other truly contributed towards the family expenditure.

There ought to be some agreements at the initial stage of each marriage. Ideally, it would be better to have two accounts for each individual. One would be the joint account and the other would be the personal account. Both must agree to set certain amount or percentage of their income into their joint account while leaving some for their personal usage. This might just work well if only both agree to do so without being calculative on how much the other person is earning.

There are cases where A is earning X amount while B is earning just 40% of X amount. Quarrels would spark when B is in need of funds while A is still holding on to the “extras” for his or her own usage. As I have mentioned earlier, there SHOULD BE AN AGREEMENT at the initial stage. IF A has the “extras”, he or she should put that into the “buffer” account in case there are any unforeseen emergencies in the case of B. After all, they are always sacrifices for the better of any relationship


“It takes two hands to make a clap”. Well, it does in a relationship. Humans are social animals as they would always need love, company, attention, fulfillment of their needs and so on. If two were to lie down together, they keep both warm, but if one decide to stay at one side of the bed, how could both have warmth? This scenario happened in many broken down marriages.

Marriage life is a two way communication process in order to maintain a harmonious relationship. There is no such thing as a one-way love although it may happen in a certain stage of a relationship. Sooner or later, the party would be burnt out. Romantic spirit should always be there. Everyone would like to love and be loved. Even a little flirtation between spouses would make the relationship more interesting. No one would like a monotonous marriage where both are doing their personal things without any communication all the time. Would you?

In some cases, marriage life ended up as companionship rather than as husband and wife. One party would be so busy with the business that coming home would be just for the sake of having a company in bed. One might just want to have some surprise fun but the other would just give excuses for being exhausted. As time pass by, the lack of tenderness, fulfillment of needs and participation of a fairy-tale marriage would just seep away slowly but surely.

Would you want to fill your dreams by being selfish in your own wants and starve the needs of the other in a relationship? Just ask yourself truthfully what have you been doing in your married life? Are you still a lover or have you merely turned yourself into a breaker?

I'm thirsty for a drink now. Would you be kind enough to treat me?


Written by crizlai on Sep 1st, 2008 | Filed under: life, love, marriage, mood, rant, relationship, trading









When was the last time you ever sat down with your partner to enjoy your evening away in a perfect environment? Most of us would just utter “Errr…”! No matter whether you are still dating or married for many years, life would somehow get monotonous if nothing was done to spice things up. “Surprises” is the key for a closer relationship. Taking your “date” to a posh restaurant might be a good surprise but in the end of the day, your budget may burst due to the unnecessary expenditure incurred unless you are rich enough to foot the bills without thinking twice. But then, there won’t be much of a surprise as dining out would be such a routine.

Why don’t you plan something way out from your norm as to prepare a meal for your partner in the comfort of your home? It does not have to be a grand affair but getting some takeaways and lay the food on the table might not be cool at all. Even though if you have never stepped foot into a kitchen before, you can always get some simple recipes online and get them prepared with ease. You can even consult your friends for some great recipes which you can whip up in no time.

On the day of the surprise, just make sure that your partner would be available for an eat-out. Prior to her returning home from work or some errands, storm the kitchen with the ingredients that you had pre-ordered. Work out a menu to be served and work on your culinary skills to surprise her. It might not turn out great as a first timer but it’s your action that will make her stunned.

To create a great ambience for the occasion, set your indoor lighting right. Get a dimmer for your lighting if you have to. Dim down the lights and set a couple of candles, some floral arrangement and a stalk of rose just for her on the table for a romantic dinner ahead. You may want to play some soft background music to bring back the days of your early dating. If you think that this romantic rendezvous might not be good enough to impress her, you can always cook up something special that may make this special day the date of your life time. After all, how successful the surprise will be lies in the creativity within your heart and soul.

I'm thirsty for a drink now. Would you be kind enough to treat me?


Written by crizlai on Jan 6th, 2008 | Filed under: life, love, marriage, rant, relationship








When love sparks, two people will eventually come together and marriage will be one of the most fundamental and enduring social institutions that will ever happen. Man and woman will think of the partnership and facing sacrifices for the sake of both parties and in an attempt to seek security and contentment from their mutual understanding. Then comes in the thought of expanding that relationship into a family, where children will come into their lives. This is the general idea of a married life.

As years of the intimate emotional relationship goes by, it is inevitable that some misunderstanding and friction due to anger, suspicion or jealousy will occur from time to time. This is where a person will have to put his/her level of understanding, tolerance and love to test. Marriage is actually based on compatibility and not just by finding someone you deemed fit to your liking. Even if it is so, it is always the mutual respect, love and concern that will make the marriage a success. You do not go through marriage blindly without sharing the happiness and pain as a whole. It will not work as it will result in bad communication and understanding in time to come.

Most cases of marital problems arose due to the unwillingness of a partner to compromise with another. As the sayings, “It takes two hands to make a clap”. When a minor misunderstanding occurs, it is best that one side maintain the coolness until whatever thunderstorm, hurricane or tornado subsided. This is easily said than done as most of the time, as a human with heavy emotion, it is hard for many to control the inbuilt time bomb that will explode by a mere flick of the fingers. The golden rule in any marriage is that problems can be resolved without violence and anger. Try to enrich your life by nurturing the patience, tolerance and understanding within yourself.

It was the heydays when man used to dominate the working world as the sole bread earner for his family. In the modern society of today, both sexes play an important part in the success of bringing up a family. Household chores are no longer limited to the women as they are now shared duties for both working couple. There should no longer be the term “man of the house” or “woman of the house” and replaced with the term “guardians of the family”.

There was this joke about having an ideal relationship being married. “A good marriage would be between a deaf husband and a blind wife.” I had a good laugh when I read about the reasoning behind the saying few years back. It seems that as a married man, he tends to get a lot of grumbling and nagging from the wife, whereas as a married woman, she tends to look for perfection in her husband. In the end, what would be more ideal than to have a husband who will not “hear” the nagging of the wife and a wife who would not “see” the faults and weaknesses of her husband?

There are countless of pleasures and pressures in a marriage life and to cover all would be like reading the trilogy of Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, and so on. There is only one rule in a good marriage that I am going to mention here. Have a good thought about it.

Marriage is like a pair of scissors that have both blades stuck together. They are inseparable. Although both moves opposite directions most of the time, together they will still cut through the hardship and toughness of what lies ahead.

I'm thirsty for a drink now. Would you be kind enough to treat me?

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