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INSIGHT CRIZ

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Archive for the ‘parenting’ Category

KNOWING YOUR CHILD’S HABITS

Written by crizlai on Apr 9th, 2008 | Filed under: life, parenting, relationship

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do you ever stop for awhile and watch all the picture frames being displayed in your living room or you simply walk by without taking heed of whoever child’s photos being exhibit there? If you have never spent at least a split second of your time in looking at the photos, it clearly shows that you have practically no time at all in having watchful eyes over what your child has been doing. This may sounds bad as a child may accumulate bad habits in your absence and it may be too late for any rectification by the time you realized them.

There is no doubt that any child will often go astray if there is no proper guidance in his life. A child’s mind is like a glass of drinking water. It is so clear, so pure and free from any pollutants. If there is no guidance in showing that too much salt or sugar being added to that glass of water will be hazardous to the health of a child, how would he know? He will add in more and more each day without knowing how to stop. Eventually, he would become so sick that only professional medical advice would be able to help him. Isn’t that too late? How about the medical expenses and the after effect consequences that the child will experience?

Bringing up a child is not as easy as it sounds. It takes the responsibilities, commitment, effort and time of parents to observe those bad habit symptoms and correct them one by one. The most important thing is that parents must be there for the child at all times no matter how busy or stressful their lives would be. If you do not understand your child well, who else in this world will? Do not forget that a child’s emotions, habits, manners and characters derived from how well he is being polished by the parents to survive well in the society.

I have written earlier on the instincts of a child in growing up strong and having a stand in differentiating what is right or wrong. The instinct mentioned is the basis of emotion; emotion is the basis of habit and habit is the basis or manner and character which will be perceived by others. This is how the society judged on a person as mannerism determined the personality of a person. How good or bad a child may grow up to be depended on the causes mentioned above.

Knowing the importance of these causes, don’t you think it is high time to spend more time with your child and eradicate whatever destructive behaviors and habits that they might gather? You are your child’s eyes and ears at this stage. Hopefully that whatever you have taught them now will eventually make them your hands and legs when they have grown up to be successful in this world. So, take this as homework to observe the physical and verbal mannerism of your child this weekend. Are they good or are they bad? Take some action before it goes out of hands!

I'm thirsty for a drink now. Would you be kind enough to treat me?


HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW YOUR CHILD?

Written by crizlai on Mar 12th, 2008 | Filed under: life, parenting, rant, relationship

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In this era where both parents belong to the working group, bringing up a child could be rather stressful. The future characteristics of the child could turn for the worst if he is not always under the watchful eyes of the parents in guiding him to differentiate the right from the wrong.

A child’s mind is like a dam. It slowly accumulates drops by drops of water into his mind. The mind has to be built strong to be able to withstand the pressure and forces of the water. Tons and tons of water flow into this dam and if no proper management is executed, it will just crumble and fall. Parents are like the person manning the dam. They will be there to ensure that several drainages are built to let the excess water flows out of it. Children are just not wise enough to see the danger level posed by the water. That is why parents are much needed to show and guide us towards the safety level in our life.

How children develop and succeed in the society depends on how well they are taught to understand and control their basic instincts. As a parent, you should take note of all the requirements a child will need and showing him which is the best amongst the many options he has in his life. Here are some of the basic instincts that you should inject into their young minds.

Survival Instinct: Food is something that everyone will need in order to survive but what goes inside will have the side effects on a child’s health. A child should be taught on how to consume nutritious food rather than fatty food which in turn will ruin his growing up. You sure do not want your child to have obesity, diabetes or heart problems when they grow up right?

Social Instinct: Humans are born to be social animals and they hate being lonely. As age catches up, they tend to gather more friends and forming more groups. Lifestyles will change so are the languages used. Children tend to follow what majority do. This is the time parents should be there to guide them to differentiate the good from the evil. Shutting a child down from the outside world is discouraged here as it will make the child inactive mentally and physically. Learning the hard way and falling down are part of the growing up process and parents are there only to guide those fallen child to brave it out.

Fear Instinct: Have you ever encountered people your age having the phobia or fear in carrying out certain duties? Most of the time, it is due to their bad childhood experiences. When they were young, they had bad encounters with fear such as stranded in dark places, mentally and physically abuse, loud chilling scream, thunder and lightning, seeing something frightening or getting attacked by something or someone. During these traumas, they needed someone to be by their side but they found none. As parents, try to be available whenever a child needed some comfort and security. This will surely help him to face the society in a more courageous way.

Status Instinct: I have worked in this society for so long and met many different types of people in the process. Most of the time, I have seen people with strong superiority complexes, looking down upon those who he deemed unfit to be around him. Those victims were not even given the chances to prove their worthiness. It is fine to feel proud with one’s achievement but having too much pride will not ensure a smoother working relationship. Different people take different paces in progressing in their lives and they should be given the benefit of doubts in whatever tasks there are given. Although every parent would want their children to excel in whatever they were doing, they should instill in the mind of their children the sense of humbleness, compassion and willingness to help those who are weaker than they are. Whether you want your child to be a down to earth person or you wished to make him into a so called “commander” in the future depends on how you educate him today.

Love Instinct: Life will not continue to exist if there was no love. With love, there tend to be lust and sexual urge. I have noticed that the kids of today are no longer in control of their sexual desires. This could be due to the information filled internet access and many adults movies that are easily accessible in the market. It used to be the headaches of parents trying to tell them about the bees and the flowers but now kids are learning about sex even at a tender age. With the changes in times, there is no stopping to this growing up process. Parents are to ensure that their children know about the value of a life which should not be created out of carelessness. There should always be proper planning and stable income in ensuring the future of a newly born. Sorry to say, I have overheard many barely legal age teens describing their sexual experiences and it is scary to know that they are still schooling. I just hope that some actions can be taken at the root to avoid this social sickness. Think about it!

Do keep a watch out for the next series on knowing your child’s habits in the next post.

I'm thirsty for a drink now. Would you be kind enough to treat me?


THROUGH THE EYES OF A MARRIED PERSON

Written by crizlai on Dec 26th, 2007 | Filed under: life, parenting, rant, relationship

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What would you think would be the first impression of a person on another before getting married? Do you think it is love at first sight? Do you think it is the feel of knowing that the other person would be your perfect soul mate in the future? Do you think it is the desire to own another for self image and financial stability? Do you think that it is a way to satisfy your sexual desire as you would now be doing it legally and at any time you want? What about being pregnant and getting someone pregnant? Is it a thrill and excitement or is it sadness and sorrow?

These are some of the question I asked myself each time I see or hear disputes amongst married couples. Sex is indeed quite important in the life of a marriage. It is just an expression of a marital love and should not be taken as the main priority of a relationship. After all, a married life should be filled with mutual understanding in order to adjust, sacrifice, tolerate and be patient in situations that are deemed improper. It is also a commitment to lead the partnership towards attaining peace, harmony and contentment.

Now comes the hardest part of a married life. What would happen when they have children? There would be more commitments and responsibilities in the upbringing, as a child would spend most of his/her formative years in the care of the parents at home. Thus, a child would be picking up and imitate the lifestyle and values of the parents. This is the most crucial period for the parents as a child will have the immense potential to be good or evil.

What would you do as a parent to the child? Would you sacrifice your time to guide your child in their needs, from the basic necessity of food and lodging, education, until your see him/her walking down the aisle? Or would you chase your own dreams of being extremely rich without having the time even to be at home for his/her birthdays? Unfortunately, most parents of today are lack of this responsibility, causing their children to go astray in the society. The child becomes ruthless and rowdy because the lack of one thing that is most important in their lives – attention!

The first few years in the life of a child is basically formed based on character building. They will absorb characteristics by imitating the emotions of the parents. This is the most crucial period to be by his/her side all the time to show your parental love and affection, having a “love-filled-dispute-none” environment and to instill positive values into his/her life. Not only will the child grow up to be emotionally stable, s/he will also be sound both morally and psychologically.

Before you can even blink your eyes, the adolescence years of a child will slowly slip in. A child will see some changes to his/her physical appearances. This is the time where they will be asking about the “flowers and the bees” and life questions. As a parent, you have to be prepared to answer any questions thrown to you, by answering openly, truthfully and informatively to your child. Withholding vital information will not stop him/her from being exposed to any danger.

This is not the end of the duties of the parents. There will still be the college years, career years, courtship years, and marriage years to consider. So, what do you see through the eyes of a married person now? Do you think it is easy for them in their life? Do you think they have not sacrificed enough for the sake of a child’s life in the future? Do you think they should be ignored forever just because of a little advice that they have given for the sake of ensuring a child’s brighter future? Well, you will know when you are in their shoes and seeing through their eyes when you are married and have a child of yourself.

I'm thirsty for a drink now. Would you be kind enough to treat me?

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