applying love in our life









Since the Stone Age, man created weapons merely for the sake of hunting for food. Subsequently, as food became scare, man used the weapons created to fight amongst each other to be the survival of the fittest. It has never stopped until today. War still exists. In the mind set of man, war is an inevitable part of life. Is the statement justified? Has the world actually stay peaceful without war? Will mankind ever reach the stage where there will be peace without war?

War will not occur just overnight. It is the result of tension of various kinds. It could be personal tension, international tension, political tension or economic tension, which bring out the worst in any man. It is the fear, hatred, suspicion, and vengeance accumulated from these tensions that created war. It is in fact from the reflection of wrongful thoughts in man himself that peace and happiness would not survive for a long period of time.

Even as I am rambling about the need of peace in our world, there is a war happening somewhere out there. The latest being the assassination of ex-Pakistani Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto in a suicide bombing in less than a few hours ago. The grand design of life would not be perfect at all time. It changes according to time. Even a flower may have its flaws. Why must we insist on examining its flaws rather than appreciating its beauty? Must man always deceive himself by having the disillusionment of “As I think, I will act” without considering other factors for a peaceful life?

It is all in the mind of man. Man will act irrationally towards his foolish thoughts. It is through his actions that the fortresses of peace will never be permanent. The cold chilling winds of war have been blowing all over the world, infesting the minds of mankind today. Man will never stop fighting, killing, murdering and wiping each other from the face of earth. In the end, who would win when there will be no one left on earth?

Why would man want to be the conqueror of war? Through the age of time, he will still be turned into the dust of the earth, with no love and gratitude from anyone. Neither will he earn the hearts of mankind. Isn’t it better to be the conqueror of hearts, where the kindness and compassion emitted from his heart be honoured and remembered in the mind of generations to come?

Peace will only come in when man live in harmony with the natural laws of having good principles in life. Nothing can bring peace except man himself. Conflicts do happen in life. With the ability to cope with it, and understanding the cause and effect of it, war will no longer be an inevitable part of our life. Just remember this. “It is not your position that makes you happy or sad; it is your disposition that will decide on how you would want to be.”


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Deep in the jungle, there lived 3 monkeys. They are Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil and See No Evil. They were highly respected by all the animals in the animal kingdom due to their wisdoms and actions. As years went by, development sets in and they were forced to blend in with the human in the newly modernized environment. In order to do so, they have to adapt to the thinking, behavior, characteristic and lifestyle of the human. Everything went on smoothly until the day they lost their instincts, identities and principles amongst the human.

Hear No Evil became insane. There was no ending to the grapevines, rumours and gossips that he has to face daily. Speak No Evil was disappointed and acted like a dumb. All the people he met will never listen to his advices but rather talk senselessly with no directions or facts to support. Two-way communication and compromising ceased to exist in the new world. See No Evil became confused due to the fact that everything he saw in his world was filled with wrath, lust, gluttony, sloth, envy, greed and pride. The human now were no better off than the wild animals in the jungle then.

But animals have one thing that the human are lack of – the act of responsibilities. For this case, let us study deep into a short story. In Zimbabwe, a childless couple adopted a baby female chimpanzee. They gave her all the love and care that any other animals will envy. Eventually after a year, the woman finally got pregnant. The couple decided to hand the female chimpanzee over to the zoo as they thought that it would be a burden for them to have more responsibilities and commitments.

The female chimpanzee was happy to see all the wild chimpanzees. Not long later, she got pregnant and gave birth to a healthy baby chimpanzee. The mother chimpanzee somehow neglected her duties as a mother and never attended to the needs of the crying baby. However, the wild chimpanzee attended to the needs of the hungry baby. It shows that even an animal which has accustomed itself with the human, also neglect its duties and responsibilities.

Is that not what you see in the newspaper quite often? You will read about babies being discarded in dumps, rivers, or toilets. Human will often neglect and run away from their duties and responsibilities. Animals would not do so as they will understand their principles in life.

That is why the existence of the 3 wise monkeys is at stake. They have to recruit the fourth member into their group. That is why you will get to see four monkeys in a row nowadays instead of three. The fourth member is Do No Evil. Do No Evil is to instill the right principles and quality of life into the mind of the society, if not, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil and See No Evil would be hopeless. Without Do No Evil, the society would still be in a state of uncertainty to differentiate the right or wrong way to observe and understand any situations, listen and digest what is beneficial to their lives, speak what is relevant as not to hurt the feeling of others.

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In our journey of life, we do come across many people whom we will later address as friends. Are these our true friends or simply friends in disguise? Sometimes, it is rather hard for us to identify properly who they are anymore. One thing very obvious is that we should not be afraid of enemies who will attack us upfront but those who flatter us all the time. No one in this world is free from opposition. Even the great philosophers and religious leaders are not exempted. On top of every good principles and values, there ought to be someone out there who will oppose them. Great people never give up on holding on to their principles even though they have to sacrifice themselves for the better of others.

The worst enemy for us is the anger we have within us. Anger will not bury anger but create the worst out of us. Human minds are like gases. When there is fire, it will burn instantly or even explode. We have to be aware that there is a switch to turn off the gas. If we do not know how, it will burn forever until there is no longer any gas left. How long do you think a gas tank will last? What about those with centralized gas systems? It will take a very long time right? In the process, this will harm our health. It will also kill us unknowingly. The same principle applies on us. Anger will kill us! In fact, isn’t that what your opponent want of you?

At times, your opponent might even possess certain good qualities which you can learn from, some even better than your associates. By learning and understanding the flaws in ourselves will make us even wiser in avoiding such future confrontations. Confronting war with war is idiotic. It will never end. There will never be a winner too. Victory breeds hatred. The vanquished live in pain.

Good people will have opponents too as there tend to be natural conflicts between good and bad, pure and evil, black or white, or whichever you call them. By returning evil to evil, you will end up evil yourself. Being a cultured person, treating your opponents with love and understanding would be the solution. It may sound illogical and nonsensical but it works most of the time.

Disputes and disagreements happen frequently amongst our friends. In order to maintain the friendship, admit and apologize when we realized we were wrong. Open up and have a heart to heart talk to settle any misunderstandings. Treat jealousy with love and hope that by doing so, your opponent will someday have a clearer mind to see your true intentions.

I must admit that no one is perfect in life, not even me. There are many times in my life that friendship ended due to the simplest stupidity between two parties. When either party had a clearer mind years later to realize the stupidity, it did bring the relationship back and this time even closer. This has indeed proven that different people have different speed of acceptance on any good principles and values in life as age matures. As time changes, people changed for the better or worst. It is up to us to decide which side we would like to step in.

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Have you realized that when you have mood swings, the decisions that you have made do not always turned out to be as expected? Even when you are in an extremely good mood, the emotion in you might cause bias decision and you will regret one day for making that decision.

Try study yourself in front of a mirror when you have bad or negative emotions. You tend to look silly. If you try to stretch that muscle of yours and smile deliberately, your negative emotion will just disappear and you will not feel so stressful. In fact, some people do carry small mirror with them. By just looking at their own facial expression during bad moods will psychologically made them forget about the cause of the mood swings.

The best way is to ask the people around you on how many different ways we act in front of them. You will be surprised on their answers as we have many different characteristics just within a day. Just imagine if all these different characteristics are labeled as “I”s, meaning you in different moods. And if all “I”s were to battle over the steering wheel of a car, it will crash because no specific “I” will be in control of the car.

What will you do if you have too many “I”s trying to take control over the car? You will have to discard a few on the way and made the carpooling a safer one. The same concept goes for your life. If you want your life to move towards a destination safely, you have to get rid of all the bad “I”s, meaning getting rid of the angry mood, the greedy mood, the selfless mood, the worry mood, the restless mood and so on. By doing so, you will be the guiding principle of your life. All mental and bodily action would be within your own control. You will be the master of the “I” or yourself.

Sometimes, having too much pride in being the master will have its side effects. Not one “I” is perfect by nature. You will still need to open up and listen to another person or else you would be lost in your direction. Shutting down another person’s views or opinions will cause bad moods among others. Thus the whole atmosphere would be affected by mood swings. We must remember that how we treat others will somehow affect our life. A person who treat others with due respect and consideration, not only make another happy, but also receive the same treatment in return.

So, do you still want to make others happy in order to be happy or you would prefer to make a bad day for others and receive the same moody outcome? Try to get your viewpoint straight. It does not get any better spoiling another person’s mood by closing up all modes of understanding, negotiation or agreement.

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There are many sources for our happiness in our life. One of the sources is to have friends that we can depend and seek upon when there is a hole of emptiness in us. Stumbling along our journey of life, we have met many of friends and made plenty of friendships unknowingly. They have brought us so much joy, happiness and meaning into our life.

We are aware that this friendship has enriched our purpose of living, sharing, caring, filling up that emptiness in our life and most of all provided us the light and guidance that have helped us to set the direction towards a better lifestyle. Who knows that someone could be our parents, teachers, peers, another blogger or just someone we look up to?

We shall explore the various elements and methods of strengthening friends and friendships which form the most important binding and relationship in our life. The main purpose of friendship is for us to grow mutually. As we grow, they grow and when they grow, we continue to grow. It is all part of our process of growing up in this society.

With a good friendship, one has company when in need. One is guided when in lost and one gains more encouragement when glory comes to him. While seeking friendship, one should not push for it. It is a slow grooming process and cannot be obtained just overnight. It requires a long term investment of time, patience, understanding and trust, without weighing age, gender, race, religion, country and so on.

I am glad to have known quite a few good friends along my journey in life. They are very supportive of my views and philosophies in life. Without their encouragements and supports, I would not be where I am now, putting all my efforts in showing some lights to help those people out there to have better lives.

Thank you very much and welcome to my new website… Insight Criz: applying love in our life.

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