THE PLEASURES AND PRESSURES OF BEING MARRIED

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When love sparks, two people will eventually come together and marriage will be one of the most fundamental and enduring social institutions that will ever happen. Man and woman will think of the partnership and facing sacrifices for the sake of both parties and in an attempt to seek security and contentment from their mutual understanding. Then comes in the thought of expanding that relationship into a family, where children will come into their lives. This is the general idea of a married life.

As years of the intimate emotional relationship goes by, it is inevitable that some misunderstanding and friction due to anger, suspicion or jealousy will occur from time to time. This is where a person will have to put his/her level of understanding, tolerance and love to test. Marriage is actually based on compatibility and not just by finding someone you deemed fit to your liking. Even if it is so, it is always the mutual respect, love and concern that will make the marriage a success. You do not go through marriage blindly without sharing the happiness and pain as a whole. It will not work as it will result in bad communication and understanding in time to come.

Most cases of marital problems arose due to the unwillingness of a partner to compromise with another. As the sayings, “It takes two hands to make a clap”. When a minor misunderstanding occurs, it is best that one side maintain the coolness until whatever thunderstorm, hurricane or tornado subsided. This is easily said than done as most of the time, as a human with heavy emotion, it is hard for many to control the inbuilt time bomb that will explode by a mere flick of the fingers. The golden rule in any marriage is that problems can be resolved without violence and anger. Try to enrich your life by nurturing the patience, tolerance and understanding within yourself.

It was the heydays when man used to dominate the working world as the sole bread earner for his family. In the modern society of today, both sexes play an important part in the success of bringing up a family. Household chores are no longer limited to the women as they are now shared duties for both working couple. There should no longer be the term “man of the house” or “woman of the house” and replaced with the term “guardians of the family”.

There was this joke about having an ideal relationship being married. “A good marriage would be between a deaf husband and a blind wife.” I had a good laugh when I read about the reasoning behind the saying few years back. It seems that as a married man, he tends to get a lot of grumbling and nagging from the wife, whereas as a married woman, she tends to look for perfection in her husband. In the end, what would be more ideal than to have a husband who will not “hear” the nagging of the wife and a wife who would not “see” the faults and weaknesses of her husband?

There are countless of pleasures and pressures in a marriage life and to cover all would be like reading the trilogy of Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, and so on. There is only one rule in a good marriage that I am going to mention here. Have a good thought about it.

Marriage is like a pair of scissors that have both blades stuck together. They are inseparable. Although both moves opposite directions most of the time, together they will still cut through the hardship and toughness of what lies ahead.

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FROM THEN UNTIL NOW – A FLASHBACK

 

 

 

 

Since 30th April 2007, a baby was born in Blogger. Who is this baby? It is none other than CRIZ’S SANCTUARY. From FLASHBACK 2007, this baby has gone through many ups and downs to reach where he is today. Welcome to the official launching of INSIGHT CRIZ … applying love in our life!

If you are in for life issues and philosophies, you are in the right place. Not only will I share my thoughts and experiences on life, I would also be providing awareness and solutions to some of the issues involving life, love, and relationship.

WHAT IS LIFE?
A long life may not be good enough but a good life is long enough.

WHAT IS LOVE?
Love is universal and love is life.

WHAT IS A RELATIONSHIP?
A house built with brick and stone but a home built with love and affection.

Those 3 points may be easily said but hard to achieve for many. If we do not understand the hidden meaning within them, no matter how hard we try, it will not be a reality. No matter what, be contended with what we have and be happy with the way things turned out to be. We have gone through many experiences in life which brought us to who we are today. Appreciate all the positive experiences, through life’s lesson or stressful times that make us stronger to face the many challenges of our society. By then, you will realize that your life has reached the fullest and your whole life will be under your own control.

Until then, HAPPY NEW YEAR 2008! May your whole year and many years to come be filled with love, peace, joy, health, wealth and success!

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THE ABSENCE OF PEACE

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Since the Stone Age, man created weapons merely for the sake of hunting for food. Subsequently, as food became scare, man used the weapons created to fight amongst each other to be the survival of the fittest. It has never stopped until today. War still exists. In the mind set of man, war is an inevitable part of life. Is the statement justified? Has the world actually stay peaceful without war? Will mankind ever reach the stage where there will be peace without war?

War will not occur just overnight. It is the result of tension of various kinds. It could be personal tension, international tension, political tension or economic tension, which bring out the worst in any man. It is the fear, hatred, suspicion, and vengeance accumulated from these tensions that created war. It is in fact from the reflection of wrongful thoughts in man himself that peace and happiness would not survive for a long period of time.

Even as I am rambling about the need of peace in our world, there is a war happening somewhere out there. The latest being the assassination of ex-Pakistani Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto in a suicide bombing in less than a few hours ago. The grand design of life would not be perfect at all time. It changes according to time. Even a flower may have its flaws. Why must we insist on examining its flaws rather than appreciating its beauty? Must man always deceive himself by having the disillusionment of “As I think, I will act” without considering other factors for a peaceful life?

It is all in the mind of man. Man will act irrationally towards his foolish thoughts. It is through his actions that the fortresses of peace will never be permanent. The cold chilling winds of war have been blowing all over the world, infesting the minds of mankind today. Man will never stop fighting, killing, murdering and wiping each other from the face of earth. In the end, who would win when there will be no one left on earth?

Why would man want to be the conqueror of war? Through the age of time, he will still be turned into the dust of the earth, with no love and gratitude from anyone. Neither will he earn the hearts of mankind. Isn’t it better to be the conqueror of hearts, where the kindness and compassion emitted from his heart be honoured and remembered in the mind of generations to come?

Peace will only come in when man live in harmony with the natural laws of having good principles in life. Nothing can bring peace except man himself. Conflicts do happen in life. With the ability to cope with it, and understanding the cause and effect of it, war will no longer be an inevitable part of our life. Just remember this. “It is not your position that makes you happy or sad; it is your disposition that will decide on how you would want to be.”

SPREAD LOVE, END WAR … IT IS FOR THE FUTURE OF OUR NEXT GENERATIONS.

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THROUGH THE EYES OF A MARRIED PERSON

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What would you think would be the first impression of a person on another before getting married? Do you think it is love at first sight? Do you think it is the feel of knowing that the other person would be your perfect soul mate in the future? Do you think it is the desire to own another for self image and financial stability? Do you think that it is a way to satisfy your sexual desire as you would now be doing it legally and at any time you want? What about being pregnant and getting someone pregnant? Is it a thrill and excitement or is it sadness and sorrow?

These are some of the question I asked myself each time I see or hear disputes amongst married couples. Sex is indeed quite important in the life of a marriage. It is just an expression of a marital love and should not be taken as the main priority of a relationship. After all, a married life should be filled with mutual understanding in order to adjust, sacrifice, tolerate and be patient in situations that are deemed improper. It is also a commitment to lead the partnership towards attaining peace, harmony and contentment.

Now comes the hardest part of a married life. What would happen when they have children? There would be more commitments and responsibilities in the upbringing, as a child would spend most of his/her formative years in the care of the parents at home. Thus, a child would be picking up and imitate the lifestyle and values of the parents. This is the most crucial period for the parents as a child will have the immense potential to be good or evil.

What would you do as a parent to the child? Would you sacrifice your time to guide your child in their needs, from the basic necessity of food and lodging, education, until your see him/her walking down the aisle? Or would you chase your own dreams of being extremely rich without having the time even to be at home for his/her birthdays? Unfortunately, most parents of today are lack of this responsibility, causing their children to go astray in the society. The child becomes ruthless and rowdy because the lack of one thing that is most important in their lives – attention!

The first few years in the life of a child is basically formed based on character building. They will absorb characteristics by imitating the emotions of the parents. This is the most crucial period to be by his/her side all the time to show your parental love and affection, having a “love-filled-dispute-none” environment and to instill positive values into his/her life. Not only will the child grow up to be emotionally stable, s/he will also be sound both morally and psychologically.

Before you can even blink your eyes, the adolescence years of a child will slowly slip in. A child will see some changes to his/her physical appearances. This is the time where they will be asking about the “flowers and the bees” and life questions. As a parent, you have to be prepared to answer any questions thrown to you, by answering openly, truthfully and informatively to your child. Withholding vital information will not stop him/her from being exposed to any danger.

This is not the end of the duties of the parents. There will still be the college years, career years, courtship years, and marriage years to consider. So, what do you see through the eyes of a married person now? Do you think it is easy for them in their life? Do you think they have not sacrificed enough for the sake of a child’s life in the future? Do you think they should be ignored forever just because of a little advice that they have given for the sake of ensuring a child’s brighter future? Well, you will know when you are in their shoes and seeing through their eyes when you are married and have a child of yourself.

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MONKEY HEAR MONKEY SPEAK MONKEY SEE MONKEY DO

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Deep in the jungle, there lived 3 monkeys. They are Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil and See No Evil. They were highly respected by all the animals in the animal kingdom due to their wisdoms and actions. As years went by, development sets in and they were forced to blend in with the human in the newly modernized environment. In order to do so, they have to adapt to the thinking, behavior, characteristic and lifestyle of the human. Everything went on smoothly until the day they lost their instincts, identities and principles amongst the human.

Hear No Evil became insane. There was no ending to the grapevines, rumours and gossips that he has to face daily. Speak No Evil was disappointed and acted like a dumb. All the people he met will never listen to his advices but rather talk senselessly with no directions or facts to support. Two-way communication and compromising ceased to exist in the new world. See No Evil became confused due to the fact that everything he saw in his world was filled with wrath, lust, gluttony, sloth, envy, greed and pride. The human now were no better off than the wild animals in the jungle then.

But animals have one thing that the human are lack of – the act of responsibilities. For this case, let us study deep into a short story. In Zimbabwe, a childless couple adopted a baby female chimpanzee. They gave her all the love and care that any other animals will envy. Eventually after a year, the woman finally got pregnant. The couple decided to hand the female chimpanzee over to the zoo as they thought that it would be a burden for them to have more responsibilities and commitments.

The female chimpanzee was happy to see all the wild chimpanzees. Not long later, she got pregnant and gave birth to a healthy baby chimpanzee. The mother chimpanzee somehow neglected her duties as a mother and never attended to the needs of the crying baby. However, the wild chimpanzee attended to the needs of the hungry baby. It shows that even an animal which has accustomed itself with the human, also neglect its duties and responsibilities.

Is that not what you see in the newspaper quite often? You will read about babies being discarded in dumps, rivers, or toilets. Human will often neglect and run away from their duties and responsibilities. Animals would not do so as they will understand their principles in life.

That is why the existence of the 3 wise monkeys is at stake. They have to recruit the fourth member into their group. That is why you will get to see four monkeys in a row nowadays instead of three. The fourth member is Do No Evil. Do No Evil is to instill the right principles and quality of life into the mind of the society, if not, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil and See No Evil would be hopeless. Without Do No Evil, the society would still be in a state of uncertainty to differentiate the right or wrong way to observe and understand any situations, listen and digest what is beneficial to their lives, speak what is relevant as not to hurt the feeling of others.

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