applying love in our life










In this era where both parents belong to the working group, bringing up a child could be rather stressful. The future characteristics of the child could turn for the worst if he is not always under the watchful eyes of the parents in guiding him to differentiate the right from the wrong.

A child’s mind is like a dam. It slowly accumulates drops by drops of water into his mind. The mind has to be built strong to be able to withstand the pressure and forces of the water. Tons and tons of water flow into this dam and if no proper management is executed, it will just crumble and fall. Parents are like the person manning the dam. They will be there to ensure that several drainages are built to let the excess water flows out of it. Children are just not wise enough to see the danger level posed by the water. That is why parents are much needed to show and guide us towards the safety level in our life.

How children develop and succeed in the society depends on how well they are taught to understand and control their basic instincts. As a parent, you should take note of all the requirements a child will need and showing him which is the best amongst the many options he has in his life. Here are some of the basic instincts that you should inject into their young minds.

Survival Instinct: Food is something that everyone will need in order to survive but what goes inside will have the side effects on a child’s health. A child should be taught on how to consume nutritious food rather than fatty food which in turn will ruin his growing up. You sure do not want your child to have obesity, diabetes or heart problems when they grow up right?

Social Instinct: Humans are born to be social animals and they hate being lonely. As age catches up, they tend to gather more friends and forming more groups. Lifestyles will change so are the languages used. Children tend to follow what majority do. This is the time parents should be there to guide them to differentiate the good from the evil. Shutting a child down from the outside world is discouraged here as it will make the child inactive mentally and physically. Learning the hard way and falling down are part of the growing up process and parents are there only to guide those fallen child to brave it out.

Fear Instinct: Have you ever encountered people your age having the phobia or fear in carrying out certain duties? Most of the time, it is due to their bad childhood experiences. When they were young, they had bad encounters with fear such as stranded in dark places, mentally and physically abuse, loud chilling scream, thunder and lightning, seeing something frightening or getting attacked by something or someone. During these traumas, they needed someone to be by their side but they found none. As parents, try to be available whenever a child needed some comfort and security. This will surely help him to face the society in a more courageous way.

Status Instinct: I have worked in this society for so long and met many different types of people in the process. Most of the time, I have seen people with strong superiority complexes, looking down upon those who he deemed unfit to be around him. Those victims were not even given the chances to prove their worthiness. It is fine to feel proud with one’s achievement but having too much pride will not ensure a smoother working relationship. Different people take different paces in progressing in their lives and they should be given the benefit of doubts in whatever tasks there are given. Although every parent would want their children to excel in whatever they were doing, they should instill in the mind of their children the sense of humbleness, compassion and willingness to help those who are weaker than they are. Whether you want your child to be a down to earth person or you wished to make him into a so called “commander” in the future depends on how you educate him today.

Love Instinct: Life will not continue to exist if there was no love. With love, there tend to be lust and sexual urge. I have noticed that the kids of today are no longer in control of their sexual desires. This could be due to the information filled internet access and many adults movies that are easily accessible in the market. It used to be the headaches of parents trying to tell them about the bees and the flowers but now kids are learning about sex even at a tender age. With the changes in times, there is no stopping to this growing up process. Parents are to ensure that their children know about the value of a life which should not be created out of carelessness. There should always be proper planning and stable income in ensuring the future of a newly born. Sorry to say, I have overheard many barely legal age teens describing their sexual experiences and it is scary to know that they are still schooling. I just hope that some actions can be taken at the root to avoid this social sickness. Think about it!

Do keep a watch out for the next series on knowing your child’s habits in the next post.

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Comfort on difficult days,
Smiles when sadness intrudes,
Rainbows to follow the clouds,
Laughter to kiss your lips,
Sunsets to warm your heart,
Hugs when spirits sag,
Beauty for your eyes to see,
Friendships to brighten your being,
Faith so that you can believe,
Confidence for when you doubt,
Courage to know yourself,
Patience to accept the truth,
Love to complete your life. – Unknown

What a great poem this is? Life is surely great, even until the last day if and if only you know how to see, understand and live it well. Most people will fear death, worrying unnecessary about it. Will this make death go away? Someday, somehow, whether it is in our prime time, sickness or old age, we still cannot avoid death. Death is universal. It will strike all and spare none. Not even plants, insects, animal and any other life forms will escape this part of the life cycle.

What really impressed me is the courage of 46 years old Prof. Randy Pausch, PhD. He knew he was going to die in 3-6 months’ time after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in August 15th, 2007 and yet he has the courage to face death and gave his last lecture on life. This Carnegie Mellon University’s professor of Computer Science has given some great contributions to the field of virtual reality, science, and education. What a great way to die without feeling the sorrow and yet did something positive for himself and the world. In fact, Prof. Randy is alive and kicking on February 15, 2008, the maximum period the doctors have given him to live.

“The doctors weren’t wrong; they always said that if the palliative chemo worked, it would buy more time, but that it was a long shot. And the doctors have done a brilliant job of tweaking my regimen to help my odds. How much longer this will work is hard to know, but I’m going to keep having fun every day I have left, no matter how many or how few of them I get,” said Prof. Randy. Thinking positive and having his life lived to the fullest was what Prof. Randy had in this mind. He did not worry at all of even his funeral preparations but instead he spent his prescribed limited time with his family, laughing and having fun just like any normal person would do.

“Attitude clearly matters in fighting cancer. We don’t know why (from my old-style materialistic perspective, I suspect that mental states feed back upon the immune system). But match people with the same cancer for age, class, health, socioeconomic status, and, in general, those with positive attitudes, with a strong will and purpose for living, with commitment to struggle, with an active response to aiding their own treatment and not just a passive acceptance of anything doctors say, tend to live longer,” said Stephen Jay Gould, an influential evolutionary biologist who once taught at the Harvard University. He lived 20 more productive years on top of the 8-month median survival as diagnosed by his doctors.

Here is part of the video clip of the professor’s last lecture as well of the interview he had with ABC. Spend 10 minutes of your time to watch it and appreciate what was said inside. It may take some time in streaming of the video but it is worth the waiting to learn how to live life wonderfully even though death is at the doorsteps.

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There are many times that we could not decide what will be the best decision in our life. As we grow older and have many commitments in our hands, we tend to get into more and more complicated issues that will decide on how we are going to be in our future. Different people think differently when faced with such situations. What would your decision be if you were to get into one? Let me discuss with you on one case and see how you are going to pull through.

It starts with you not staying with your parents but within the same state as they are. Sometimes, your scope of work would require you to go outstation for a few days to seal a contract or to maintain the rapport with your clients, which is critical to your success in your business.

Scenario 1: You have a pair of elderly parents who had blows in their health life recently and would want someone to take care of the other half’s needs. As a son/daughter who is staying the nearest to them, would you sacrifice what you are doing now and lend a helping hand to ease the functioning of the household during this period of time? Don’t forget, without their sacrifices in your upbringing, you would not be who you are today. On the other hand, without your 100% attention to your online business, you will not sustain your livelihood for the next few months or maybe years or maybe your whole life.

Scenario 2: You are in an online business and business has just began to blossom. Whichever time you have now is critical to how you are going to survive until your old age. Every minutes and seconds count and to take off even a few hours for personal chores is practically not possible. Suddenly one of your parents has some health issues and required to be hospitalized for a few days. The other parent of yours has just recovered from a serious illness not long ago and does not have the energy to even get the household running smoothly. No one would be preparing the meals. Neither will anyone be there to see if there are groceries to be replenished. What about the visits to the hospital and the medical bills that will be incurred?

From the above two scenarios, don’t you think that life is rather complicated? How great it is if man were born to be able to astral project himself to two places at the same time. Now this is a great headache for just anyone as one situation is just as important as the other. To choose one would be unfair, to choose both would be strenuous to your health, mentally and physically. What would you do if you were to face with these situations? Do share out your suggestion here.

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I am not talking about war here. Neither will I be talking about blood being splattered all over the place with the death of many guilty ones or of the innocents. What I am going to discuss here is on how we face life with endless of struggles and pressures in order to stay alive as a human on the surface of the earth.

Do you think that life is nothing but a vain struggle for survival? If you sit down and look deep into the life of the world population, you will notice a visible trend of all the happenings. It is always the same trend no matter where you go. It is either human against human, human against animals, animals against human, human against nature, nature against human or many other threats that we as a human has to face some time in our life. It is a struggle that no man can deny.

Firstly, let us discuss on the human aspect of life. Life seems to be worthless nowadays. The minds of some human are no longer satisfied with what was given. The greed for power, wealth and fame tend to cloud the mind, thus causing endless misfortunes, miseries and problems to the lives of others. There are nothing but insecurities and unhappiness around our lives. Have you not experienced the struggles to stay out of any intentional acts due to jealousy of others? What about being offended? Are you totally free from the countless grapevines that have been circulating around just by minding your own business? Well, if you have not encountered any of the above, do tell me the secrets on how to live life in peace and happiness. Do you think it is possible? Human may look as if they are united but they are actually mentally divided. Isn’t that typical in your life?

What about animals? We destroyed their natural habitats. We hunt them down for the sake of pleasure and caged them while they should be running freely in the wild. What would you do if you were the ones to be hunted down for doing no wrong? Any beings in the right mind would surely retaliate in order to survive. Don’t you think that living a life without intruding into the lives of others would be better? In the rapid modernization of human, the awareness of staying out from the lives of others hardly exist with only a minority of people believing in conserving what is left of the virgin earth.

Mother Nature itself is not spared either with evidence of the thinning of the ozone layers, global warming, La Nina, or El Nino. What causes these changes in weather? What about, mudslide, landslide, floods, droughts or even sharp drop in temperatures? Are these the cruel acts of Mother Nature or is it mankind themselves who heedlessly attacked the nature to get these treatments as revenge? It is obviously the wicked acts of mankind to go against the law of nature and pollute the whole atmosphere. Thus, these actions no doubt brought in many unaccounted epidemics and disasters for mankind to battle against.

Will these battles end? What do you think? It took earth many millions of years to be formed and it took only a few thousand of years for mankind to tarnish. I might not live long enough to witness the corrections of mankind but what I know is that the battle for a better and stress free life would not come that easily in years to come. Human are human. They just could not get themselves out from any battles without any united efforts. Can unity of the minds become a reality?

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We often have many problems in our life that we cannot even settle. When it comes to the lives of others, we tend to think that we know what will the best for the other person. Are we really sure that we are even qualified for that? Sometimes we think that we are real smart in solving any life issues but it does not always appear to be that way.

Everyone has different thoughts and thus they think differently. It is the mind that controls the body and not vice versa. When the mind can fool the body, so can it in deceiving others on how they will look or think upon us. It is said that it is difficult to read the mind of others in order to find out about a truth, although truth is such a simple thing in life. The mind will work in a defending mode to close up the truth. That is why the human mind is such a complex matter.

Speech is one of the actions that are controlled by the mind. Most of the time, a person will try to cover up a wrongful action by lying. Lies will not stay closed forever. Someday and somehow, with the habit of one lie covering another, a person may be caught red handed as he/she will surely forget what was mentioned in the first lie. So, it is better to live a life of pure actions rather than a life of deceptions.

Let us work on how different it is to know what will be the right answer of another person based on your thinking power to analyze on an issue. If you think you are as smart as the Japanese Crime Solver Kindachi, Conan Detective, Sherlock Holmes or even a member of the Q Detective School, try solving the following simple mysteries and compare them with my answers.

1. A woman has been found guilty of murdering her boyfriend. All the evidence was conclusive and she had confessed to the crime. When she came up for sentencing, the judge has no choice but to let her go. What was the reason(s) behind the pardon?

2. A man walked into a restaurant and asked for a glass of water. Suddenly, the waiter pulled out a gun and pointed at his head. The man was shocked but he says, “Thank you” and walked out happily. Why was the man so happy?

3. A man took his wife for a holiday in Italy. His wife was murdered there and the Italian police found no evidence to convict anyone of the murder. When he went back to USA, the American police arrested him for murder. Why did the American police arrest him while the Italian police did not do so? What was the proof that the American police have?

4. A man had an important appointment at the ninth floor of a building and he was late. When he reached his destination for the meeting, he pressed the fifth floor button of the empty lift and walked all the way up to the ninth floor panting away. Why did the man press the fifth floor button when he was late for the meeting?

So, did you manage to solve all the problems above? Do you think that you had the ideal answers? Maybe what you thought might not be what I was thinking. Here are the answers to my questions. If you have other answers, please share with me here.


1. She was born as a Siamese twin and the judge has no right to arrest another half who was not guilty of the murder.

2. He was happy because the waiter gave him such a fright that it cleared him of the hiccups he was having then.

3. The Italian police could not arrest him because they did not know that he has bought only one return ticket back to USA. The American police on the other hand have proof of his intention to murder his wife.

4. He was a midget who was too short to reach the ninth floor button. Since there was no one in the lift, he had no choice but to press the highest button that he could reach.
The answers might sound ridiculous but those were what I had in mind to brighten up your weekend with a touch of humour. Anyway, have a great weekend ahead.

P.S.: Sorry for the lack of posts as I had problems with my internet access due to my ISP network problems and an unaccounted for DNS Trojan virus threat.

I'm thirsty for a drink now. Would you be kind enough to treat me?

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